1. Clear Correction Fluid
Well, they this would be pretty useless. Although, it would eradicate the annoying white marks it leaves all over your hands. A personal favourite of mine, this one would be great as a practical joke, although I can't really see it ever taking off. Such a waste. About as much use as a concrete parachute!

2. Glow-in-the-dark Sunglasses
Well, I guess these might have some use when you are in a dark room and you have lost them, although they need to have been in the light in the first place to start glowing so it's a bit of a lost cause all round.

3. Hand Powered Chainsaw
Another good one, a hand powered chainsaw, well isn't that just the same as a regular saw? Well no actually. A hand powered chainsaw is even MORE work. This is definitely one for room 101. Totally ridiculous!

4. Motorcycle Seat Belts
Well, this might be fun while it lasted, until you crash and find your self strapped to the underneath of a rather heavy motor bike as it grazes you along the floor ripping you to shreds. Rather a dangerous intent. Mind you, it's debatable which motorbike accessory would be more useless. A motorbike seat belt or a motorbike windscreen wiper. I think the seat belt has it by a synch.

5. Waterproof Sponge
Now wouldn't this be fun. I wonder how they would go about making this one, they could use the same oil that ducks use to make their feathers waterproof. Wouldn't be much use when your trying to get clean though would it? Another top class waste of space.

6. Braille Car Radio Dial
As jackass proved, blind people should not drive cars. This one does have a slight element of use though, as a blind passenger could always use it. Even so, it would be just as easy to get the driver to do it for them. Might be useful as extra grip on the dial.

7. Non-Drowsy Sleeping Pills
Well, this might be of some use but realistically what is the bloody point?! Who is going to notice the side effects anyway, if the pills work you will be asleep and thus wont actually noticed. I was shocked to find out that they really do make these! What is the world coming to?

8. Non-toxic Chemical Weapons
Hummm, well, whilst this one would be a lot more environmentally friendly, and cause a lot less damage to the world, it does kind of defeat the object a little don't you think. Might be an idea to pass the details of this one over to saddam and Bin Laden.

9. Waterproof Tea Bags
These would make for a great present to the grandparents. How much fun could be had watching them continuously dipping there teabags into the water and it just running off! A great one for a laugh, I wonder if they really make these. ;-)

10. Prick on a priest
Ok the bit you all have been waiting to hear. How much use would a penis be on a priest? Can you tell me that, ok, I guess it could be used for toilet purposes, but as a sexual referral, it's absolutely pointless. Sorry for my crude humour, you must admit though, it makes for a good discussion topic.

11. Tits on a nun
And finally, one for the guys, Tits on a nun, totally and utterly pointless, no sex means no foreplay, and no sex also means no child is ever going to get the use from them! Sorry, but tits on a nuns really are the most pointless objects known to man.

Oxymoron's…
A list of my Favourite Oxymoron's.
1. Microsoft Works
2. Military Intelligence
3. A Truthful politician
4. Tight slacks
5. Jumbo shrimp
6. Virtual reality
7. Casual sex
8. Act naturally
9. Even odds
10. Successful suicide
11. Unbiased opinion

Well there you have it - my list of the most useless objects known to man. Starting from the slightly useful to the most useless. We've covered them all, from concrete parachutes to waterproof teabags. I hope you have enjoyed the read; I have to say this was my most favourite write to date.

Thanks for reading,
Regards

©Desolate Cash