MANCHESTER BAND ON THE WALL 4/11/03

As Chicks On Speed sing their ‘Fashion Rules’ to a crowd dominated by mulletted Electroclash devotees, we mere mortals can’t help but wonder if this is irony or do the Chicks really believe that they are the ‘Fashion people’ they sing about.

It not just this elitism that makes me believe that Chicks on Speed are not, as Richey Edwards so eloquently carved into his bloody forearm, ‘4 Real.’ Not only do they charge a massive £35 for a ‘customised’ t-shirt (which basically means it’s had the arm’s ripped off) and a whole range of overpriced merchandise designed purely to exploit their current popularity but when they played Ladyfest London recently they charged a huge £2,000 performance fee which sent the whole festival over budget. And, as if demanding such a high fee wasn’t diva-ish enough considering most bands play for expenses alone in support of the cause, Chicks on Speed then refused to soundcheck before they had Strawberries and Cream…move over J-Lo. We should despise them but sadly, it’s these flashes of ego that make them all the more appealing.

As they strut around the stage dressed in their bizarre ensembles you can’t help but feel a little admiration. They have the ‘Cool Kids’ (who look like they probably would’ve bullied you at school) eating out of their hands and tongue-in-cheek songs like the latest single, ‘We don’t play Guitars’ are really very good. They put a lot of effort into the gig and put on a real show for their adoring public with costumes and props that give an air of performance not dissimilar to that of Berlin’s former thriving Burlesque Cabaret Scene! When the audience scream for more, the Chicks dutifully come running armed with more wisdom to scream down the microphones.
I should have hated it but those girls so know how to put on a show! Still, it’s nothing that my friends and I couldn’t do with a bit of fabric and a bottle of vodka inside us.

‘Vic